"Appreciate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. "
Now It's been exactly a year since I was badly hurt by someone and I now realise I tend to be too trusting and I over extend myself and go all out to help and support some friends who in the end don't appreciate me, take me for granted or abuse my trust. This is not the first time it's happened but it certainly is the most painful and it definitely will be the last. Never again will I put anyone's worth above my own, never again will I allow someone to say things or do things that hurt me egregiously.
When it comes to people, the old adage is 'Never judge a book by its cover'. This is so true. One should study the book's contents first before deciding to pick it up or to leave it on the shelf. I've finished the last chapter and closed the book. I'm leaving it and walking away.
With me, I don't wear masks, what you see is what you get, like it or not. But I now realise I cannot take other people at face value. I have to build a wall around my heart to protect myself from those who do wear masks, and many people do.
As it is the Christmas season, it's a time for forgiveness and letting go. To the person who hurt me, I forgive you for inflicting so much damage to my self-worth. I was never afforded the opportunity to say what I wanted to say at the time but this is what I have to say now.
I cannot deny there were good times and times we laughed but you hurt me deeply that day last December. But thank you for teaching me something I had to learn. Thanks for hurting me to the core. Thank you for letting me know how my friendship was of little value and how little I was thought of. Thank you for showing me words really do more damage than sticks and stones. In a way I needed to be broken. It had to happen. And thank you for doing it.
Am I sad about things? Yes. Do I regret how things turned out, in hindsight? No. I wouldn't have learned a thing. I've learned that though I can care a lot I can hurt even more; that when I'm wrong to admit it, and when I'm right, not to gloat; and that to apologise is not a weakness, it is a strength. I am filled with an inordinate amount of love and gratitude to my family and those who have seen me through this year. I Thank them for all the prayers and I thank God for helping me through each and every day, especially the hardest ones.
But I have learnt the lesson I had to learn and come through it. Maybe not with flying colours but at least with a 'B' or a 'C'. OK, let's be honest, a 'D'. So thank you for helping me realise that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've come to realise, you can still care for those who have wounded you but you can't have them in your life in any measure. I've gone through the worst and I'm still here.
Believe it or not, I bear no ill will or malice; there is no point for that and it achieves no good purpose. I know you don't care and you, in all probability, won't read this blog post. But I do wish you the very best, I really do. I hope you have peace and get everything you hope for and desire. And above all I wish you happiness always. Have a nice life... God bless you and GOODBYE.